I wasn’t prepared to hold both these titles simultaneously. But here we are. And I’m doing my best at juggling them both.
Whenever I daydreamed as a child it was for two different visions of what life might look like. Either I wanted to be just like my dad and work with computers ever day, or just like my mom, patiently teaching us at home and helping us grow. As a member of a single-income household, it didn’t cross my mind as an option to be a working (outside-the-home) mother. That life, in a way, chose me.
In college, all my dreams were about the big career and projects I would get to work on. Eventually building a future with my husband together. I always knew I wanted a dog, but I balked ever time I thought about what working parenthood entailed. It made me nervous to think about what choosing one path (fully) over the other would be like. But that indecision didn’t prepare me for what it would be like to choose the third option, to do them both.
I have spent countless hours agonizing over decisions I make, big and small, to support my son and model sacrificial love for him. I have come to realize that in many ways I can’t see too far ahead. Just like I struggled to imagine what life would be like with him here even up to the moment he was born.
Instead, I have to keep making decisions, day by day, and trusting that they allow me to do my best at the things I care about.
What does working parenthood represent for you?