Half his life is gone in a blur. Time I won’t get back, but in some ways got to experience more fully because we were all home. Two years spent more or less together all of the time. The three of us side by side, at the mercy of the needs of our team. His formative years surrounded by the vocabulary of our tech jobs and transportation terminology. He’s been there in the background for most of our meetings, even stealing the spotlight with some toddler level insight a time or two.
My boss liked to joke early on that this kid was really an apprentice, getting exposure to the tech world through immersion, and it shows. This is a kid who gets excited to practice coding on his tablet apps so he can be just like mommy. This is a kid who volunteered to join our team when he found out another developer was leaving and I was nervous about who would take over the work. This is a kid who has been in the room while we attend high stakes meetings, grappled with challenging problems, advocated for ourselves, our team, our product.
There are times I think he understands way more than a four year old ought to about things most adults take for granted. His insistence that “we can find a solution together.” His patience when “just a few more minutes” turns into hours of tackling a frustrating issue. The way he knows that mommy and daddy need to help our teammates and need help from them too.
I’ve explained in kid-friendly terms that my job is to use the computer to help truck drivers bring things to the store, and why the store doesn’t always have his favorite foods in stock. The poor dear was concerned when I quit that the trucks wouldn’t be able to come anymore, so he’s decided he wants my job when he grows up. I think at this rate, he’ll be ready for it before I even know it.
I’m proud of the work I’ve done while working from home, though they were some of the hardest years yet in my career. And I’m proud of the way I’ve been able to share all aspects of who I am with my son, letting him witness all the failures and growth along the way.